'Twas the night before Christmas

[allardjd 1,853]

Disclaimers: 1) sent by a friend, without attribution - if it's copyrighted I'm unaware of it and I don't know the source, 2) "Allison" should be "Packard".

 

'Twas the night before Christmas all over the place,
When we were confronted by an old flying ace.
There was icing reported and turbulent air,
He said "File me a flight plan, I gotta get there."

Outside sat his aircraft all ready to run,
And the old man walked out to that P-51.
"Bad weather's no problem," he silently mumbled,
The prop came to life. . . that big Allison rumbled.

He eased in the throttle, the roar shook the ground,
He taxied on out and he turned it around.
He went through the run-up and seemed satisfied,
Then he said to himself, "I'm in for a ride."

So he lined it up straight as he poured on the coal,
The tailwheel came up as he started to roll.
Up off the runway, he sucked up the gear,
And that mighty V-12 was all you could hear.

He screamed overhead with a deafening crack,
The blue flames were flying from each shiny stack.
He pulled up the nose and started to climb,
No ice on that airframe, it didn't have time.

 

On top of the weather with the levers all set,
He looked up above him and saw a Lear jet.
With jet fuel and turbines there just ain't no class,
Gimmee pistons, and props and lots of avgas!

Now he was approaching where he wanted to go,
But weather had covered the runway with snow.
How will he land it? We just have to guess,
Because the only way in was a full I-L-S.

Then over the marker, he started his run,
The ceiling was zero, visibility. . . none.
Still going three hundred and he felt the need,
For an overhead break to diminish his speed.

Over the numbers he zoomed, along like a flash,
Pulled into his break, we just knew he would crash.
Oh, why do they do it on these kinds of nights??
Then over the threshold, we saw landing lights.

"I'm on a short final with three in the green,
And I see enough runway to land this machine."
Then he tied down that Mustang, and they all heard him say..
"Next year, I'm stickin' with my reindeer and sleigh."

[Bruce (a.k.a. brian747) 142]

Whatever, John - it has to be a classic!

Cheers,

bruce

a.k.a. Brian747

[mutley 4,497]

You're just an old romantic John! I like it

[needles 1,013]

Very good John.

[Captain Coffee 2,030]

Terrific fun read. If it's an oldie...I missed it. Thanks for sharing.

[allardjd 1,853]

There's a different version here...

 

http://forum.mutleyshangar.com/index.php/topic/2368-christmas-story/?hl=%26%2339%3Btwas

 

John

[wain 879]

Nice one...

[dodgy-alan 1,587]

Twas the night before Christmas – Old Santa was p*ss*d.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable brats, and ungrateful jerks
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works.
…
I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of “Thanks Santa” – what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night
The elves want more money – The reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS
And just when I thought that things might just get better
The tax office sent me a threatening letter!
They say I owe taxes – if that ain’t damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Clause money?
And the kids these days – they all are the pits
They want the impossible …Those mean little gits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls…Their arms, legs and heads
I made hundreds of yo yo’s – No one wants them
They want computers and robots…am I IBM?
Fly through the air…and dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I’m quitting this job…there’s just no enjoyment
I’ll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment
There’s no Christmas this year…now you know the reason
I found me a blonde.. I’m going SOUTH for the season!