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Subject: Fwd: Florida woman stops alligator attack with a small Beretta pistol. 

 

 

What is the smallest caliber that you would trust to protect yourself? 

 

A Beretta Jetfire .25 caliber??? 

 

Here is her story in her own words: 

 

"While out walking along the edge of a pond just outside of The Villages 

with my soon to be ex-husband discussing property settlement and other 

divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft. alligator which suddenly 

emerged from the murky water and began charging us with its large jaws wide 

open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely 

aggressive. If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire .25 caliber pistol 

with me, I would not be here today!   

 

Just one shot to my estranged husband's knee-cap was all it took....  

 

The 'gator got him easily and I was able to escape by just walking away at 

a brisk pace. It's one of the best pistols in my collection!   

 

Plus the amount I saved in lawyer’s fees was really incredible."   

 

 

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Two Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the  Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. 

 

'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo! 

 

He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

 

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The Indian replied 'No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there's a beautiful squaw in there waiting for us.

 

Just then they came upon another cave. The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' 

 

Immediately, there was the answer. 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' from deep inside.

 

He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.

 

The Irishman wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, 'Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!'

 

He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' Like the others, he then heard an answering call, 'WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!' 

 

With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran.

 

The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read...............

 

 

 

NAKED IRISHMAN RUN OVER BY TRAIN!!! 

 

 

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Apologies if I am repeating myself! 

 

------------------------------------------------------

 

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My wife had sex in the missionary position with the local Priest last night,  Well it is Easter..

 

He gave me 15 Holmary's, but I still cannot find the cans!

 

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