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Showing content with the highest reputation since 28/04/20 in all areas

  1. 3 points
    Apologies if you have already seen these here 10. I know a great joke about Corona Virus, you probably won't get it though. 9. A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus" 8. If I get quarantined for two weeks with my wife and I die. I can assure you it was not the virus that killed me. 7. With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together. 6. I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?" She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner" I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here" 5. *Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stock piled "just in case". The whole lot collapsed and buried him. 4. Thinking a mask is going to stop Covid-19 is the same as thinking that your underpants will protect everyone from a fart. 3. Since everybody has now started washing their hands, the peanuts at the bar have lost their taste. 2. They said that a mask and gloves were enough to go to the supermarket. They lied, everyone else has clothes on. 1. Before Corona Virus I used to cough to cover a fart, now I fart to cover a cough.
  2. 2 points
  3. 2 points
    Living in the Golden Horseshoe region of Southern Ontario allows me to fly over Niagara Falls fairly often. I put this video together to illustrate the flight rules and procedures that must be followed with a few scenic points of interest. Video was captured with a GoPro mounted to the underside of the right wing.
  4. 2 points
    Names I like: Covid 1984 Kung Flu Chinese Lung Rot Winnie the Flu Bat Soup Fever Fu Man (Ah) Chu - - - Quarantine is when you restrict the movement of sick people. Tyranny is when you restrict the movement of healthy people. - - - Seen on-line: Now that I've experienced a real plague I understand why Italian Renaissance paintings are mostly of fat naked people on couches. - - - New logic Swiss cheese - not racist Italian sausage - not racist Brazilian wax - not racist Belgian Waffle - not racist Cuban sandwich - not racist English bulldog - not racist Irish coffee - not racist Roman candle - not racist Pekingese - not racist Spanish flu - not racist Chinese food - not racist French braid - not racist German potato salad - not racist Russian roulette - not racist Indian casino - not racist Canadian bacon - not racist Irish whisky - not racist Mexican food - not racist Labrador retriever - not racist Brazilian steak house - not racist French kiss - not racist Egyptian cotton - not racist Italian dressing - not racist Irish setter - not racist Colombian coffee - not racist English muffin - not racist Spanish inquisition - not racist Roman catholic - not racist Danish pastry - not racist Scottish fling - not racist Turkish delight - not racist Singapore sling - not racist Manchurian candidate - not racist Scotch whisky - not racist French poodle - not racist Scotch pine - not racist Chinese flu - RACIST
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  6. 2 points
    Seen on-line: I told my wife how thankful I am to have someone I enjoyed being quarantined with. She said, "Must be nice." - - - Overheard phone conversation... "Hello, virus hot-line? I'd like to report someone not living in fear." - - - Covid 19 or Covid 1984? - - - Millions of dogs are wondering why all their humans have been muzzled. - - -
  7. 2 points
    Chinese citizen asked for his opinion on how his government had performed handling the virus... "I can't say." - - - Coronavirus arrives in the US. Mexico: So, about that wall.... - - - I know a great joke about Corona Virus, you probably won't get it though. - - - Seen on-line: We are 11 days into self-isolation and it is really upsetting to see my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly with tears running down her cheeks. I've considered letting her in many times but rules are rules. - - -
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  10. 1 point
    and a few more 2020-5-17_11-3-7-259 by JanKees Blom, on Flickr 2020-5-9_21-40-15-30 by JanKees Blom, on Flickr 2020-5-10_9-59-31-556 by JanKees Blom, on Flickr 2020-5-18_21-14-50-525 by JanKees Blom, on Flickr 2020-5-5_17-57-50-499 by JanKees Blom, on Flickr 2020-5-5_8-8-13-592 by JanKees Blom, on Flickr 2020-5-16_8-27-30-874 by JanKees Blom, on Flickr 2020-5-5_15-34-10-613 by JanKees Blom, on Flickr 2020-5-9_9-7-26-351 by JanKees Blom, on Flickr 2020-5-8_9-24-59-535 by JanKees Blom, on Flickr 2020-5-7_7-33-22-87 by JanKees Blom, on Flickr 2020-5-13_17-30-17-907 by JanKees Blom, on Flickr 2020-5-10_10-7-19-268 by JanKees Blom, on Flickr 2020-5-10_9-26-21-431 by JanKees Blom, on Flickr 2020-5-5_12-13-55-64 by JanKees Blom, on Flickr 2020-5-17_11-41-7-161 by JanKees Blom, on Flickr
  11. 1 point
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  13. 1 point
    I have decided that since I have lost a large portion of this year to Coronavirus I will not add it to my age.
  14. 1 point
    Black Knight. "It's only a scratch!"
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  16. 1 point
    I had my leg X-rayed today.The doctor said "Your patellas only measures 2.54cm."I said, "Inch high knees?"He said, “你的膝盖高2.54厘米"
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  18. 1 point
    I also remember Clarence the cross eyed lion.
  19. 1 point
    https://www.dropbox.com/s/i1dna5b9dts1yz4/BoB 70th Anniversary Flypast.pdf?dl=0
  20. 1 point
    Yeah love it Jury
  21. 1 point
    “Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.”
  22. 1 point
    I have got it and i believe it is going to have a big update. There are no Sids and Stars in the FMC and other things that annoy me. Personally i would wait until it is updated and to be honest i don't use it do the limitations it has.
  23. 1 point
  24. 1 point
    I've had the A350 bookmarked for possible purchase, for some time. Since real-world popularity of the A350 is increasing, it seems to be an aircraft that I should have. FlightFactor appears to be pretty good about continuing to update it. However, the low VRAM requirement may indicate the visual model is not all that it could be and could be improved.
  25. 1 point
    Everything fine thanks, Brian. Been painting the Kitchen from 02.30 hrs while it's not needed. All ready for when she who must be obeyed gets up. Supermarine Scimitar.
  26. 1 point
    "In theory" Carenado planes should work in v5 (at least so says Carenado) - just specify your v5 folder as the install location. But I and others online have experienced problems with missing textures, engines blowing out etc./ So I expect we'll soon be seeing a series of updates. Meanwhile, Carenado have released a one off patch to fix some avionics issues: https://carenado.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/360046625614-Installing-Carenado-aircraft-in-P3Dv5
  27. 1 point
    I've forgotten Arnie. lol. Guarantee.
  28. 1 point
    Sure Alan but those birds are more like displaybirds now while the B-52 is constantly upgraded for war time use but Ok I'll give it to you. Furor
  29. 1 point
    A few pics by way of testing. Not done much in the way of tweaking/configurating at this stage... Heading east from Guildford, along the ridge of the downs, at 2300ft. Liking the new haze and clouds. London is clearly visible on the skyline at top left. 30fps, but a very slight hint of jerkiness. Texture popping is noticeable but unobtrusive, Tracking the ILS outbound from Biggin Hill. Texture popping is more pronounced and we've dropped to 25fps. (in v4 this would be down to around 15, or 7-8 with the first version of GB South!) On final for London City. 15-20 fps, but not particularly jerky. Textures feel like they don't fully resolve (this would have been unflyable in v4!). The airport is the "enhanced" version from the GB-S pack, not the standalone LCY. There are no terminal building on the ramp (a known problem) Just after this pic was taken, I received what I can only describe as a 'smackdown' (like I flew into a brick wall). I've seen other reports of similar things happening. Fortunately I was able to drag myself up out of the water and crawl onto the runway... Another weird thing, it takes around 30 seconds after switching back to cockpit view for the instruments to redraw.
  30. 1 point
    The ones used for wagon wheel spokes are the same shape as your comb over, Curvature
  31. 1 point
    Type of wood plane...Spokeshave. Lovely photo, Brett. A gorgeous aircraft. I was lucky enough to have a ride in one many years ago, down at Fairford.
  32. 1 point
  33. 1 point
    Nah Arnie, it's sunny at the moment so let's Uncover. Lol
  34. 1 point
    Just one more for now, you must be needing the toilet by now.. My mate put his bins out at 8pm last Thursday. He couldn’t believe that everyone was on their doorsteps clapping and cheering him. Let’s all show our appreciation for Amazon drivers at this time by clapping on our doorsteps sometime between 7am and 8pm on Wednesday, 2020. The year your bin goes out more than you do. I just got a job as a cuckoo in a cuckoo clock. It’s not great, but it gets me out of the house. I just turned down a job delivering for my local fruit and veg shop. They offered to pay me in vegetables, but the celery was unacceptable. Apparently you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff. My mate’s wife has run off with his Bob Marley record collection and also his satellite dish. Poor bloke - no woman, no Sky. I once went for a job interview to be the fourth band member of A-Ha but they refused to take on me. Neil Diamond makes the same healthy smoothie every morning - Swede, carrots, lime. A bloke was in court for stealing a calendar. He got 12 months. I saw an advert in a window that said: ‘Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.’ I thought, ‘I can’t turn that down.’ Conjunctivitis.com – that’s a site for sore eyes. I went in to a pet shop. I said: ‘Can I buy a goldfish?’ The guy said: ‘Do you want an aquarium?’ I said: ‘I don’t care what star sign it is.’ A guy I know got daffodil bulbs mixed up with his onions. He made a Spanish omelette with them and had to be rushed to hospital. They reckon he’ll be out in the spring. How does the German baker greet his customers? Gluten Morgen. My wife told me she thought we’d have less arguments if I wasn’t so pedantic. I told her “I think you mean fewer.” What’s a marsupial’s favourite cocktail? A pina koala. What do you call a hen looking at a lettuce? Chicken Ceaser Salad. Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications. What do you call a magician that's lost his magic? Ian.
  35. 1 point
    Next... Anyone want to buy 100 Scotch Eggs and 150 bite size sausage rolls? I misread the headlines and thought everyone was picnic buying. A lorry load of Marmite has crashed on the M4 this morning...Police have said to avoid the yeast-bound carriageway. Panic buying is ridiculous. I’ve just paid £15 for Oxo cubes...The stock market’s gone crazy. My mate just said he’s run out of toilet paper and is having to use lettuce leaves...Today was the tip of the iceberg. ’Enter new password’ - ‘chicken’ - ‘Password must contain a capital’ - ‘chickenkiev.’ My mate bought a signed photo of Ronnie Barker and I bought one of Ronnie Corbett, both for 50p...So it was a good buy for me and a good buy for him. I said to the greengrocer, “Can I have six onions?” He replied, “I’ve only got five onions and that shallot.” What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey. I bought my wife a fridge for her birthday. You should have seen her face light up when she opened it. I never wanted to believe that my mate was stealing from his job as a road worker...But when I went to see him all the signs were there. Police were called to a supermarket today after a fight broke out over loo roll. They calmed things down and one person was left with soft tissue damage. Have YOU had to walk 500 miles? Were you advised to walk 500 more? You could be entitled to compensation...Call the Pro Claimers now. When you’re playing football manager and you can’t decide between tracksuit or suit manager. Heard about the bloke who asked his wife to pass her the lip balm but he gave her some superglue instead...She’s still not talking to him. I used to be a big Robbie Williams fan but that all changed when I started to study geometry and found that more interesting...I’m loving angles instead. Our local TV weatherman has reacted angrily after being sacked for giving too many gloomy, frosty weather forecasts...No more mist and ice guy. I have some racing geese for sale. Let me know if you want a quick gander, Vandals have stolen the F from the Funfair sign in our town... Now that is just unfair. A man went into a library and asked, “Do you have any books on shelving?” The librarian said, “Yes, all of them.” I missed the World Hairdressing Championships on BBC last night...Anyone know if they’re showing any of the highlights?
  36. 1 point
    More cut and paste action... My mate rang and said: “My diet isn’t going well. I’m having five eggs for breakfast.” I replied: “What poached, scrambled or boiled?” He said: “No, Cadbury’s...” I used to work in a dentist’s. It wasn’t a permanent job - I was just filling in. Accordion to a new survey, random musical instruments are being put into sentences without people noticing. I was walking past a pet shop. A sign on the shop front said: “Pedigree Netherlands cats for sale.” I didn’t believe they were from the Netherlands so I went into the shop and asked the assistant: “How Dutch is that moggie in the window?” I was in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes. I turned to a local tribesman and said: “That lizard’s really funny.” The tribesman replied: “That’s not a lizard. He’s a stand up chameleon.” A cement mixer collided with a prison van on Dereham bypass. Motorists are asked to be on the look-out for 16 hardened criminals. The man who invented the zip fastener has been honoured with a lifetime peerage. He will now be known as the Lord of the Flies. I gave my pet bird a haircut, and now he thinks he’s James Bond. He’s certainly a shorn canary. I hear Ipswich Town Football Club is being bought by Sheik Anvac who is promising to “put the freshness back” into the Tractor Boys. To the person who stole my selfie stick, you need to take a long look at yourself. The prime minister held a meeting with the cabinet today. He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the chest of drawers. I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned on me. I’ve just written a song about tortillas. Actually, it’s more of a wrap. I don’t like Russian dolls, they’re so full of themselves. Sad news that Uncle Ben has died. No more Mr Rice Guy, I met a bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought: “That’s Abba-riginal.” Two donkeys were standing on the side of the road. One said: “Shall we cross now?” The other said: “No way. Look what happened to the zebras.” I keep randomly shouting out “Broccoli” and “Cauliflower” - I think I might have florets. I bought my wife a wooden leg for Christmas. It wasn’t her main present, just a stocking filler.
  37. 1 point
    Now I know why dogs get so excited to go for walks
  38. 1 point
  39. 1 point
    I've come to the conclusions that cheap circumcisions are a rip off!
  40. 1 point
  41. 1 point
    Ah the famous Chinese actor Donald Presence. The Great Escape and many more films. lol
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