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allardjd last won the day on April 2

allardjd had the most liked content!

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About allardjd

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  • Name
    John Allard
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    Florida - USA

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  1. How is everyone enjoying the 30-day free trial of Socialism?
  2. Sorry, I'm self-isolating and can't go on your guilt trip. After I'm out of isolation, I'm pretty sure I can find another reason not to. Maybe nature is telling us not to eat bats and snakes and pangolins and to not lie to other nations about infectious diseases.
  3. For the first time in history, we can save the human race by laying in front of the television and doing nothing. Lets not screw this up, people.
  4. Day 9 of the quarantine: My wife called out from the other room and asked if I ever get a stabbing pain in my chest like someone has a voodoo doll of me and is stabbing it. I replied, "No." She responded, "How about now?"
  5. Lots of people seem willing to assume the worst intentions on the part of others doing something/anything/nothing. People are spring loaded to the pissed-off position, while they personally are lily white in all they do. Sure am glad I'm not like that... John
  6. I was in a long line at 7:45 am today at the grocery store. They open at 8:00 with one hour designated for seniors only. A young man came from the parking lot and tried to cut in at the front of the line, but an old lady beat him back into the parking lot with her cane. He returned and tried to cut in again but an old man punched him in the gut, then kicked him to the ground and rolled him away. As he approached the line for the 3rd time he said, "If you don't let me unlock the door, you'll never get in there."
  7. Don't throw away those old socks, unless the holes are in the toe.
  8. New dietary recommendations for Kung Flu patients - they're limiting them to pizza and pancakes, because those are the only foods that they can slide under the door.
  9. There's a new cough remedy to make Kung Flu patients less contagious to others. They give them a quart (OK, a liter) of prune juice and they don't dare cough.
  10. Borrowing from Dodgy's digital sig, Deja Flu, that feeling we've been infected by something from China before... John
  11. Heard a psychiatrist on TV say to have inner peace during these uncertain times that we should always finish things we start and we all could use more calm in our lives. I looked through my house for things I'd started and hadn't finished, so I finished off a bottle of Scotch, a bottle of Tequila, a bodle of some old Pinot, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiumun srciptuns, an a box a chocletz. You haf no idr how fablus I fele rite now. Sned this to alll who neeed inner piss. An telum u luvum.
  12. Read yesterday that there are so many Delta jets laid up in Atlanta that they are resorting to parking them on runways. For a time, three of the five runways were closed due to aircraft parking. Not sure if that's still the case as some of the unused aircraft are probably being ferried out to Mojave and other places for medium-term layup. Storage in the high desert is easier on them. John
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