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brett

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brett last won the day on July 13

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About brett

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  • Birthday May 13

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  • Name
    Brett
  • Location
    PA, USA

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  1. A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she’d like as a gift. “I’d like to be eight again,” she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he rose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, with popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&Ms. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed, exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well dear, what was it like being eight again?" Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my dress size, you idiot!!!!" The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is probably gonna get it wrong.
  2. I thought getting older would take longer. A wise man once said nothing. Respect your elders; they graduated from school without the internet. I've decided I’m not old; I’m 25 plus shipping and handling. Why do I have to press "1" for English? Did America move? Behind every angry woman stands a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong. Instead of "single" as a marital status I prefer "independently owned and operated". Vegetarian: ancient tribal name for the village idiot who can't hunt, fish or light fires! I look at people and sometimes think..."really? That's the sperm that won?" In my defense I was left unsupervised. My decision-making skills closely resemble those of a squirrel when crossing the road. Some things are just better left unsaid. And I usually realize it right after I say them. Camping: where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person. If my body is ever found on a jogging trail just know that I was murdered somewhere else and dumped there.
  3. So after reading the full report and watching the hearings on the tube from Special Council Robert Mueller looking into collusion between US President Trump and the Russians it begs the question, if Robert Mueller was a doctor would this be his diagnosis? "While we found no cancer, we still don't have any evidence that you DON'T have cancer. We would certainly say so if we did. So Congress is free to proceed with Chemotherapy if they so choose. Also pay no attention that we had to fire two doctors on our staff for malpractice."
  4. @John- They should have used Energizer batteries because they just keep going and going...... @Alan- I believe it for a couple of reasons the first being they know how to get government money for any alternative fuel testing and second even though right now electric is more polluting in the long run they need to be there with patents and such so they can reap the rewards when and if the tide of electric use takes a technological turn for the better.
  5. The printing Press (probably one of the most important inventions in the world)
  6. Not as uncomfortable as getting caught by your wife having sex on it with another women. Predicament
  7. So true and I believe if they would have been upfront from the beginning about what they were doing it would not have turned into such a chit show. I do worry that if they couldn't get FSW right what will this next try be like. Maybe they will be working on a P3D entertainment version because I can't see them using a new rendering engine with all the work and money it would entail and make it better than what we have now. I guess we will see....
  8. No doubt everyone has some great points and even things I would like to see but I think I'll take the wait add see attitude for stress free living. One thing I do know is if they don't deliver this time no one will believe them again.
  9. Thanks John, never saw this one before and I am always amazed at all the things we all tried during the war to give us the edge.
  10. Want to stop drunk drivers from killing sober drivers, ban sober drivers from driving, after all isn't that how gun control works.
  11. A pet dog thinks: "They feed me, they play with me, they give me a warm comfortable place to sleep, they must be Gods!" A pet cat thinks: "They feed me, they play with me, they give me a warm comfortable place to sleep, I must be a God!"
  12. brett

    "Semper Fi"

    That's a Devil Dog of a paint job.
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