Full body scans

[mutley 4,498]

From Facebook...

Here’s the solution to all the controversy over full-body scanners at the Airports:

Have a booth that you can step into that will not x-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on your body. It would be a win-win for everyone, and there would be none of this crap about racial profiling and this method would eliminate a long and expensive trial. Justice would be quick and swift.

This is so simple that it’s brilliant. I can see it now. You’re in the Airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter an announcement comes over the PA system, “Attention Standby passengers. We now have a seat available on flight number 4665 ….

Paging maintenance. Shop Vac needed in booth number 4.”

Sure sounds like a win-win to me!

[allardjd 1,853]

Commendable, but impractical. It would never happen because it discriminates against anyone who might be carrying a bomb innocently, i.e. "It was in my bag and I intended to remove it before coming to the airport, but I really just got in a hurry and forgot." It happens all the time, but usually only with guns, ammo, knives, swords, axes, hand grenades, etc, not so much bombs.

Anyway, here's a more practical if less amusing and satisfying solution to the problem of people who object to having a psuedo-naked image of themselves displayed to drooling TSA employees of the wrong sex.

Each scanner would have two operator stations, one manned by a male, one by a female. (In some cases it might be necessary to actually label the stations "Male" and "Female", since it's not always obvious.) A red light would illuminate over the operator station that is currently connected to the scanner. As a pax/victim approaches the scanner, he, she or it would press a button to select the preferred operator station, which would connect the scanner to the selected station.

It would add some hardware expense to the scanner stations and some people expense to the TSA overhead, but they really don't care since they are only spending our money anyway and have no profit motive. The more they spend the more they can ask for next year, so they should be very happy with that aspect.

This would solve all sorts of problems, catering on a self-serve basis to the normal, straight and merely modest, but also to the show-offs, exhibitionists, flashers, gays, transvestites, etc, who could select their target. The only problem would be with bi-sexuals, who might have to be permitted to go through twice, selecting the alternate operating station on the second pass so they can be twice-titilated, catering to both sides of their perversion fetish sexual preference.

John

[SEATAC 400]

I second the detonation booth idea!

[Tim_A 997]

It happens all the time, but usually only with guns, ammo, knives, swords, axes, hand grenades, etc, not so much bombs.

And people wonder why I regard America as a scary place...

[Tim_A 997]

As regards the 'tittilation' scanners, I think people should be able to pick out their pictures from a wall at the end of the corridor -- just like the photos you get coming off fairground rides.

[needles 1,013]

A very BIG DITTO to Joe's idea of the booth. I was frisked at Bristol as I forgot to take my belt off. The guy was frisking me, he then got called to another guy and left me standing with my arms and legs spread, but never told me to go. What a wally I felt as wifey gazed on laughing at me.

EDIT: Why do you always feel guilty going through security, even though you're not?

[ddavid 149]

My steel toe caps always gets them worried on Eurostar - when the thing goes ding, I tell 'em I've got metal knees!

Which, from the way I walk, they guess, anyway - so the frisking is brief!

Santé - Dai.