allardjd 1,853 Posted December 17, 2008 Report Share Posted December 17, 2008 This was sent to me by Gunk. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did. John ================================== 'Twas the night before Christmas, and out on the ramp Not an airplane was stirring, not even a Champ. The aircraft were fastened to tie-downs with care In hopes that come morning, they all would be there. The fuel trucks were nestled all snug in their spots, With gusts from two-forty at 39 knots. I slumped at the fuel desk, now finally caught up, And settled down comfortably, resting my butt. When the radio lit up with noise and with chatter, I turned up the scanner to see what was the matter. A voice clearly heard over static and snow Called for clearance to land at the airport below. He barked his transmission so lively and quick, I'd have sworn that the call sign he used was "St. Nick." I ran to the panel to turn up the lights, The better to welcome this magical flight. He called his position, no room for denial, "St. Nicholas One, turnin' left onto final." And what to my wondering eyes should appear But a B25-built sleigh, with Pratt-Whitney Reindeer! With vectors to final, down the glide-slope he came. As he passed all the fixes, he called them by name: "Now Ringo! Now Tolga! Now Trini and Bacun! On Comet! On Cupid!" What pills was he takin'? While controllers were sittin' and scratchin' their heads, They phoned to my office, and I heard it with dread. The message they left was both urgent and dour: "When Santa pulls in, have him please call the tower." He landed like silk, with the sled runners sparking. Then I heard "Left at Charlie," and "Taxi to parking." He slowed to a taxi, turned off of three-O And stopped on the ramp with a "Ho, ho-ho-ho..." He stepped out of the sleigh, and set the gust locks as I ran out to meet him with my best set of chocks. His red helmet and goggles were covered with frost And his beard was all stained from P-W exhaust. His breath smelled like peppermint gone slightly stale, And he puffed on a pipe, but he didn't inhale. His cheeks were all rosy and jiggled like jelly; His boots were as black as a crop-duster's belly. He was chubby and plump, in his suit of bright red, And he asked me to "fill it, with hundred low-lead." He came dashing in from the snow-covered pump; I knew he was anxious to be drainin' the sump. I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work, And I filled up the sleigh, but I spilled like a jerk. He came out of the restroom, and sighed in relief, Then he picked up a phone for a Flight Service brief. And I thought as he silently scribed in his log, These reindeer could land in a one-eighth-mile fog. He completed his preflight, from the front to the rear, Then he put on his headset, and I heard him yell, "Clear!" And laying a finger on the mike push-to-talk, He called up the tower for clearance and squawk. "Take taxi way Charlie, the southbound direction; Turn right three-two-zero at pilot's discretion." He sped down the runway, the best of the best. "Your traffic's a Baron, inbound from the West." Then I heard him proclaim, as he climbed thru the night, "Merry Christmas to all 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hurricanemk1c 195 Posted December 17, 2008 Report Share Posted December 17, 2008 That's very good! Link to post Share on other sites
wisemanp 0 Posted December 17, 2008 Report Share Posted December 17, 2008 Very good John, enjoyed much. :sleep: Not too keen on 'And his beard was all stained from P-W exhaust.' if I have interpreted it correctly... Link to post Share on other sites
allardjd 1,853 Posted December 17, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 17, 2008 Phil, In this context, I think P-W = Pratt & Whitney. :sleep: John Link to post Share on other sites
wisemanp 0 Posted December 18, 2008 Report Share Posted December 18, 2008 Ahh I misconceived that for reindeer... :sleep: Link to post Share on other sites
dodgy-alan 1,587 Posted December 11, 2015 Report Share Posted December 11, 2015 Excellent!. Link to post Share on other sites
dodgy-alan 1,587 Posted December 11, 2015 Report Share Posted December 11, 2015 Twas the night before Christmas – Old Santa was pissed.He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.Miserable brats, and ungrateful jerksI have a good mind to scrap the whole works.…I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year,Instead of “Thanks Santa” – what do I hear?The old lady bitches cause I work late at nightThe elves want more money – The reindeer all fight.Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maidsDonner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDSAnd just when I thought that things might just get betterThe tax office sent me a threatening letter!They say I owe taxes – if that ain’t damn funnyWho the hell ever sent Santa Clause money?And the kids these days – they all are the pitsThey want the impossible …Those mean little shitsI spent a whole year making wagons and sledsAssembling dolls…Their arms, legs and headsI made hundreds of yo yo’s – No request for themThey want computers and robots…am I IBM?Fly through the air…and dodging the treesFalling down chimneys and skinning my kneesI’m quitting this job…there’s just no enjoymentI’ll sit on my fat ass and draw unemploymentThere’s no Christmas this year…now you know the reasonI found me a blonde.. I’m going SOUTH for the season! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
wain 879 Posted December 11, 2015 Report Share Posted December 11, 2015 John...Al...great...enjoyed them both... Wayne 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dodgy-alan 1,587 Posted December 11, 2015 Report Share Posted December 11, 2015 Not sure what happened there, for some reason it didn't show up when I posted it, then when I re did it with a couple of edits, it went on twice! Link to post Share on other sites
Quickmarch 488 Posted December 11, 2015 Report Share Posted December 11, 2015 Well done, lads! Link to post Share on other sites
hlminx 301 Posted December 12, 2015 Report Share Posted December 12, 2015 Great read there guys Link to post Share on other sites
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