Rules of the Universe

[mutley 4,488]

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

A balanced diet is a beer in each hand.

Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." :mrhappy:

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

You should not confuse your career with your life.

Never lick a steak knife.

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

Hope you enjoyed :-)

[ddavid 149]

Thanks for sharing, Joe - made a long day more tolerable!

Keep taking the tablets.......

Cheers - Dai. :mrhappy: