Tim_A 997 Posted June 15, 2018 Report Share Posted June 15, 2018 In aviation, we're paranoid about the weather (other things too, but definitely the weather). and with a dedicated weather channel here in the hotel, for the past few days I've been thinking of little else. (video NSFW for language) So. The weather's gonna be fine. Scorchio! Hurricane Bob? Meh, it'll probably never happen! Did anyone ever mention that Uruapan is the murder by decapitation capital of Mexico? Well they should have! even victims that have been shot get their heads chopped off! (pictures not included. But just google . . . ) Well the arrival of one such head into my hotel room "football style" (I blame the Russian World Cup) prompted the decision that it was time to leave. "GOAL!!!!" Now, JG had been and gone some weeks ago, and the baton was in storage, in some lock-up or other out at the airport. The details had been texted to my mobile phone, including the QR code needed to open the locker. All I needed was a taxi - correction - boat to get me to the airport and my plane. Fortunately, the airport is on higher ground outside the city, and the headhunters all got expensive cars they didn't want to get wet. So my arrival was without incident. for operational security reasons, I can't show you the actual baton, or any details of its storage, but it was stashed aboard safely, and my flight booked out under the old "Universal Exports" moniker. Still tipping down, so I'd better leave before the airport gets flooded. Today we're in the trusty 300. The lady in the FBO seemed to have a Bob fixation. Whatever. We're off. Look at that ground: you won't see its like for some time! HOLY SHEE-IT!!! What you can't see in this picture is the VSI breaking the end stops. At both ends!!! This ain't "moderate chop". Severe turbulence would be an understatement! If I wasn't strapped in, I definitely wouldn't still be sitting here! Tomorrow my shoulders are gonna have some nasty bruises from the straps! WOAH! there went breakfast! What you might not realise is, that cloud line is horizontal, and we're flying straight and level! Through every cloud, a little chunder falls. I guess that's why they call it a chunderstorm! Fortunately, I wasn't carrying passengers. BTW boss, is the baton meant to glow blue like that? We've got as far as Chihuahua, and finally there's a hint of blue below us. The US border is ahead. The US is a cloud-free zone. They must have a wall or something! Thinks of something to say . . . I was mostly cleaning inside the cabin at this point. Don't know what smells worse, sick or detergent. At FL400, you don't really want to open the window! Ya know, I'm reminded of those rolling backgrounds they used to have in old movies . . . We cut the corner of New Mexico, and into Arizona. If you pay attention, out of the left window you may glimpse Tucson, Phoenix, even Flagstaff. Descending over Injun territory. Ok, what idiot put that record on the radio? Hippety, Happety, hoppity hi . . . . Getting close to the Grand Canyon, and wondering what kind of reception we're gonna get. Sneak in low, under the radar, and pop up on final. That's the plan. I'm sure I've got scenery for this, and I probably should have installed it! gear down . . . Final. Hello America! We seem to have attracted some onlookers. The ground seems to be swaying a bit, but I'm determined to look at some of the sights while I'm here. Then it's a 40 minute taxi ride into town. I'll be in the hotel bar after I wake up, looking for Coffee. And a drink. Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Coffee 2,030 Posted June 15, 2018 Report Share Posted June 15, 2018 (edited) Wow...you really packed a lot into this one, Thunder, Lightning, Gut Tightening, Belly Laughing...and that was just the first video. And then unpacked a lot into that cockpit soon after it...omg, Universal Exports ground crews are not going to be happy with the boss tomorrow...or god forbid, next week. Sorry about your bumpy ride pal. I'll be arriving in the morning in a Carafe equipped Aircraft...or with a cuppa for ya at the least. Please be showered. Cheers mate. Coff, coff...urp. PS. Thanks for the tip re: Ozzy Man (f'n hillarious)...guess what new YT subscription Coff will be catching up on while on his two legs upcoming. Edited June 15, 2018 by Captain Coffee Link to post Share on other sites
Tim_A 997 Posted June 16, 2018 Author Report Share Posted June 16, 2018 Ozzy Man is probably not to everyone's taste, but he tickles my funny bone! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mutley 4,498 Posted June 16, 2018 Report Share Posted June 16, 2018 Well done Tim, one of your better flights! Loved the commentary, hey you should write a book or something? (Shameless plug) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,315 Posted June 16, 2018 Report Share Posted June 16, 2018 Nice one Tim, you moved the baton down the line with ass class. Link to post Share on other sites
J G 927 Posted June 19, 2018 Report Share Posted June 19, 2018 A-ha Universal Exports eh? I use them a lot if is the same company. Is it the one located at Vauxhall Cross House 85 Albert Embankment in Vauxhall, London UK? Very reliable business, I believe both Jasmin and Clive work for them. Great flight! I hope you can keep down your next meal! Link to post Share on other sites
hlminx 301 Posted June 19, 2018 Report Share Posted June 19, 2018 .. channeling Julia Roberts: "it was so good i almost pee'd my pants"... and that was just from the Weather forecast! Oh dear Tim, chucking your cookies at 20+k ft is no fun at all. Just make sure you use a cotton bud to get the last of it out of the overhead switches.. I'm slightly concerned by the 'glowing' baton you have there.. if your hair starts falling out all of a sudden, and you start to look like the Ready Break kid, be sure to share [obviously not the 'ailment'] so we can make our hasty exit Stage Left. ps. Judging by the attention Yanet is generating, I'm not sure that having 'rear end' work would help keep me in the shadows, which my covert work requires.. plus I'd be worried that i'd become a 'shelf' for beer glasses, elbows etc.. Link to post Share on other sites
J G 927 Posted June 21, 2018 Report Share Posted June 21, 2018 Michael Fish gave us a bum weather forecast the day before the 1987 storm, which has gone down in British history as probably the biggest weather forecast bungle ever. The Mexican woman above gives a bum weather forecast every day and nobody seems to mind, in fact people seem to love it! As our American cousins say: Go figure! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hurricanemk1c 195 Posted July 1, 2018 Report Share Posted July 1, 2018 Great leg Tim - and that weather forecast could have been here with those temperatures! Link to post Share on other sites
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