Andrew Godden 945 Posted October 15, 2013 Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 Whilst being extremely magnanimous and showing a splendid amount of chivalry in helping out Brian, Micke then went on to display an absolutely brilliant level of "basic airmanship" in piloting the DHC-6 to safety. I was waiting for Micke at the nominated bar, (name deleted). I started to become anxious when the delightful barmaid called "last drinks" and there was still no sign of Micke. At that point, the barmaid turned to me and said "You must be the one looking for this.". I looked at her and thought my luck had changed as she fiddled with the top button on her blouse. However, it had come undone and she was only adjusting it, but then she reached under her skirt. I think I needed that last drink, but she pulled "The Baton" from under her garter and handed it over. Unfortunately, after two successive blow outs, first, the engine on the "Twotter", and then the company credit card on the "Kodiak", Micke had left me "The Baton" but with no ability to go anywhere for lack of funds. He had shot through as soon as he could and fortunately for me, so too had Sharon, and at least I didn't have to explain to her about that bold bodacious red on Gran Canaria. Oh well, Madeira is one place I had never been to before, so I was happy for another few days just kicking back and making the most of it whilst I put my Aussie ingenuity to work in resolving this situation. We can't have the ATWC stop short after only seven flights, not even 10% down. No point worrying about it now, though. Funchal was a perfect place to start taking in the raw beauty of the Madeira archipelago and so I made the most of the next few days. Three days on and things where still not looking good. It was a breathtaking evening and I had just come down to the hotel restaurant and was being shown to my table. As I sipped my scotch and perused the Menu and Wine List, I was conscious of a conversation in Spanish at the next table. What particularly caught my attention wasn't so much that it was a woman and two younger guys, but the slightest hint of an Aussie accent just barely discernible in the woman's voice. Curiosity getting the better of me, I got up and approached their table. The woman had her back to me, but the two guys saw me approaching and the conversation ceased immediately - cautious types I thought to myself. Apologising for the interruption "...but I couldn't help but detect what I thought was a slight Aussie...". My words trailed off as I looked straight into the eyes of Bianca. I hadn't seen her in years and yet it was as if it was only yesterday. Bianca use to work in the area outside my office when I was a senior manager at Qantas. She had been a Long Haul Flight Attendant and had decided a shift to the corporate head office would be a nice sedate change of pace. Anyway, due to her father being Spanish and having retained her dual citizenship, here was Bianca, now a Captain in the Spanish Air Force and flying C-295 SAR operations. Maybe my prospects were looking up, but what was Bianca doing in Funchal? As it happened, she and her crew, the two young guys, her co-pilot and the aircraft load master, where on a cooperation exercise with the Portuguese Air Force. I was invited to join them for dinner and a pleasant evening ensued as we indulged in catching up on the past, experiences and stories since, and the local eponymous wine. The next morning they were on an extensive patrol of the Madeira and Azores archipelagos. Bianca went on to explain she had five days off once they arrived at Lajes Air Base (LPLA) and she had booked a Diamond DA40 "Diamond Star" from the local aero club, was meeting up with her best friend from high school, Naomi, and was heading down to Santa Maria (LPAZ) to spend the days relaxing on the famous white sandy beaches of the island. There is an omniscient being after all I thought, and contrary to self proclamations, it doesn't live in France. With some further quick explanations, it didn't take long to resolve the ATWC crisis and next thing, I was going to be riding the "jump seat" on the patrol and with further insistence from Bianca, it was now a threesome going on to Santa Maria, and the ATWC and "The Baton" was safe again, at least for now. Two things characterise maritime patrols, they are long and often boring, so with an early start, I had the sunrise to look forward to, but that was about it. After a four hour mission, we were, at last, turning to finals and parked up. Bianca left the guys to secure the aircraft and we headed off to the Officer's Mess for lunch and a drink and to wait for Naomi to join us. The plan was for a casual evening and a morning departure with the forecast looking great for a planned VFR flight. OK, so the evening kicked on, the late morning was spent having brunch and so it became an afternoon IFR flight because the weather turned to shit. The DA40 is a beautiful little tourer and this was clearly an extremely recent purchase from the UK. Though, with a gorgeously leggy 5'11" frame, I was concerned for Bianca and the centre stick control maybe causing her some.....well, er.....problems. The rain was certainly persistent and it was going to be a wet old flight. Surrounded by cloud for the most part, it did eventually break, but a strong crosswind made the approach and short finals interesting. Taxiing to parking, the Mooney beside us was departing as we shut down. What to do? I guess I just have to enjoy Santa Maria and my female company until I get the call as to who I am handing "The Baton" over to. Cheers Andrew (Apologies for my adaptation and self plagiarising from "The Epic Adventure" series) Link to post Share on other sites
allardjd 1,853 Posted October 15, 2013 Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 Nice writeup and great photos, Andrew. I liked the SAR bird - my kind of ride. Spanish with an Aussie accent? My daughter was studying Norwegian and had a teacher who spoke Norwegian with a Polish accent, which apparently caused something of a problem. Trying to figure out which would be worse, but aside from English with most any accent, it's all Greek to me. John Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,316 Posted October 15, 2013 Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 I'm having Déjà Vu. Great PIREP and a great story. I like the look of that C-295, the DA40 and it's occupant's Bianca and Naomi.How did you concentrate on flying with those hotties aboard? I hope Joe is going to rob his piggy bank, we have a long way to go and we are all not as lucky as you. Link to post Share on other sites
stu7708 244 Posted October 15, 2013 Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 Great story Andrew, ain't it funny how things have a tendency to work them self out on these trips I don't expect anyone will be picking up the baton until this weekend, so you can take some time off for now.. May I suggest a trip up to São Miguel and a visit at the lakes at Sete Cidades and Lagoa do Fogo. And somewhere over on the eastern coast of the island is the most scenic toilet I've had the pleasure of using, unless you are suffering from vertigo that is... and while you're over there you could pop in to the Terra Nostra Botanical Garden in Furnas for a swim in their "Fountain of Youth" Link to post Share on other sites
Andrew Godden 945 Posted October 15, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 Great story Andrew, ain't it funny how things have a tendency to work them self out on these trips I don't expect anyone will be picking up the baton until this weekend, so you can take some time off for now.. May I suggest a trip up to São Miguel and a visit at the lakes at Sete Cidades and Lagoa do Fogo. And somewhere over on the eastern coast of the island is the most scenic toilet I've had the pleasure of using, unless you are suffering from vertigo that is... and while you're over there you could pop in to the Terra Nostra Botanical Garden in Furnas for a swim in their "Fountain of Youth" I'll see how I go, Micke, but I think I might have my hands full for a few days - if you know what I mean. Cheers Andrew Link to post Share on other sites
Andrew Godden 945 Posted October 15, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 I'm having Déjà Vu. Great PIREP and a great story. I like the look of that C-295, the DA40 and it's occupant's Bianca and Naomi.How did you concentrate on flying with those hotties aboard? I hope Joe is going to rob his piggy bank, we have a long way to go and we are all not as lucky as you. Yeh, sorry Brett. But my creative juices are waning after these last few days... There's an opening for some bright spark to come back with "what creative juices?" or something similar. Oh the humanity. Cheers Andrew Link to post Share on other sites
Kasper 14 Posted October 15, 2013 Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 Great read. It's real fun to see how the story of this ATWC keeps developing. Two hotties, hands full? I hope Joe banned Sharon from reading the forums! Link to post Share on other sites
rosariomanzo 545 Posted October 15, 2013 Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 Great read Andrew, have a nice stay! Link to post Share on other sites
J G 927 Posted October 15, 2013 Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 Great read Andrew, As soon as you find out who is coming out to take the baton from you I'll be sure to see that they bring a box of tissues for all those creative juices. Link to post Share on other sites
jaydor 345 Posted October 15, 2013 Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 "Quote" I was concerned for Bianca and the centre stick control maybe causing her some.....well, er.....problems The thought caused me some....... well, er........problems with my creative juices. I had just made a Kiwi fruit and orange squash and tipped the bloddy thing over reading the PIREP. Enjoy the company Andrew and don't forget those letters from France.. (me thinks) 3 in a bed Link to post Share on other sites
mutley 4,498 Posted October 15, 2013 Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 Superb job Andrew, I am getting a bit worried about these women distracting you from the task in hand. Please keep an eye out for the corporate Mustang, it's coming to pick the baton up for display at the Cosford on the weekend. Cheers, Joe Link to post Share on other sites
jaydor 345 Posted October 15, 2013 Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 "Quote" Superb job Andrew, I am getting a bit worried about these women distracting you from the task in hand. It's OK Boss he's only showing them how to place their hands on his the joystick correctly??????? :woot: Link to post Share on other sites
Andrew Godden 945 Posted October 15, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 "Quote" I was concerned for Bianca and the centre stick control maybe causing her some.....well, er.....problems The thought caused me some....... well, er........problems with my creative juices. I had just made a Kiwi fruit and orange squash and tipped the bloddy thing over reading the PIREP. Enjoy the company Andrew and don't forget those letters from France.. (me thinks) 3 in a bed James, All I can think of is "...and the middle one said, roll over...so they all rolled over and one fell out...". I think I may be reaching too far back into my memory to know what you mean. Cheers Andrew Link to post Share on other sites
Andrew Godden 945 Posted October 15, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 "Quote" Superb job Andrew, I am getting a bit worried about these women distracting you from the task in hand. It's OK Boss he's only showing them how to place their hands on his the joystick correctly??????? :woot: For instructional purposes only, of course. Cheers Andrew Link to post Share on other sites
Andrew Godden 945 Posted October 15, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 Superb job Andrew, I am getting a bit worried about these women distracting you from the task in hand. Please keep an eye out for the corporate Mustang, it's coming to pick the baton up for display at the Cosford on the weekend. Cheers, Joe Joe, I'll make sure the "headlights are on" and are clearly "pointing" out my location. Cheers Andrew Link to post Share on other sites
J G 927 Posted October 15, 2013 Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 Joe, I'll make sure the "headlights are on" and are clearly "pointing" out my location. Cheers Andrew Errmmm....... Are you sure you want to turn a spotlight on yourself, I mean with all that has been going on with the joystick and all? Errmmm... Am I sure I want to see................ No, on balance I think a bit of mystery is the order of the day Andrew, don't you think? Link to post Share on other sites
Andrew Godden 945 Posted October 15, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 Joe, I'll make sure the "headlights are on" and are clearly "pointing" out my location. Cheers Andrew Errmmm....... Are you sure you want to turn a spotlight on yourself, I mean with all that has been going on with the joystick and all? Errmmm... Am I sure I want to see................ No, on balance I think a bit of mystery is the order of the day Andrew, don't you think? Apologies John, but there may be some cultural confusion at play here. In the Australian vernacular, "headlights" refer to a certain maleable part of the female anatomy that reacts to the cold air.....and other things. Cheers Andrew Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,316 Posted October 15, 2013 Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 Cue the creative juices music..... Link to post Share on other sites
DaveLeafNiles 0 Posted October 15, 2013 Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 Really enjoyed the write-up and the screens Kind regards, Dave Link to post Share on other sites
jaydor 345 Posted October 15, 2013 Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 Really enjoyed the write-up and the screens Kind regards, Dave And what about the bloddy banter as well then? :D Link to post Share on other sites
Andrew Godden 945 Posted October 15, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 Now, now, James. Even I understand not everyone appreciates or is taken by my Aussie sense of humour and the banter. For my part, I know there is a certain dark, sick, warped and 100% certifiable individual behind it all. I am also aware of and coming to know those who are similarly like minded - beware I am taking notes. If some just enjoy the story, that's good enough for me. The others that get the extra banter out of it and help to make it a hoot, well, what else can I say. Cheers Andrew Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,316 Posted October 15, 2013 Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 Andrew, I used to think I was funny but you make me look like Mr. Rogers. Link to post Share on other sites
allardjd 1,853 Posted October 16, 2013 Report Share Posted October 16, 2013 ...make me look like Mr. Rogers. Why couldn't that guy change his shoes and sweater before he came to work? John Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,316 Posted October 16, 2013 Report Share Posted October 16, 2013 ...make me look like Mr. Rogers. Why couldn't that guy change his shoes and sweater before he came to work? John Haha, I think he got a kick out of changing in front of the kiddies. Link to post Share on other sites
J G 927 Posted October 16, 2013 Report Share Posted October 16, 2013 Andrew, I am such an innocent! I will never be able to look at a car again without thinking of Ursula Undress in Dr. No..... Mind you, it puts a whole new perspective on the phrase "blinding headlights"! Although both types have been known to cause accidents. Link to post Share on other sites
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