mutley 4,487 Posted May 22, 2014 Report Share Posted May 22, 2014 Ah Colombo, the capital of Sri Lanka and ancient trading port. Phew it was hot and sticky (31C DP 26C) and I had a couple of days to waste. I'd got word that Brian had blown the expenses budget again. The controller had suggested I took the Trike to claw back some cash-flow , and for a moment I thought he was joking! He wasn't. So knowing there was going to be some sort of delay on my flight, and as I was already in Colombo acclimatising to the temperature, I thought I would make some money running a taxi service from the airport to Colombo. So I invested in my pride and joy, 'Tina Tuk Tuk' was the latest addition to our fleet. After 3 days I had amassed 2,000 Rupee’s! Checking my currency converter £9.10 wasn't much to show for my efforts. Cute, isn't she?As I was lounging around the airfield frightening children, news came on the wire that Jess was en route in a Comet 4C and should be landing in half an hour, so I positioned myself on the ramp to watch the landing. I wondered if there was enough runway but in the ATWC anything can happen.. And usually does!A long landing and taxi ensued, ‘Hector’ came to a rest on the apron, once the engines had spooled down, my hearing returned.After handing over the 4C, Jess and I retired to the bar. After a few Blavods Jess became talkative about Brian, I was mentally storing all his misdemeanours. Jess also mentioned she was sure she was being shadowed by another aircraft. ‘That’ll be Micke’ I joked but I could tell, this time, JBP was serious.After contacting my man in the KGB he confirmed that there was a plot to hijack the baton. We decided to arrange for a decoy flight to Male with the same FP. Our important cargo, the baton, would be in an aircraft only known to me and Jess.At the last minute I secured a 320 as the decoy flight, and with a pilot too, you guessed it, Jess! ‘This is going to cost you boss’ she said as I handed over the credit card and a baton.So at last I was on my way. The flight plan was straight forward, over water.I eased myself into the seat of the Twotter Amphib and taxied to the active...It was still zero-fower.After we got clearance from Clarence the ATC, we were under way, Jess was going to give me and hour head start.The coast is not that far away, I switched on the AP and we were headed to SUPSA.Below, the leisure boats were bobbing in the sea unaware of our important flight, or were they?After an hour or so into the cruise Jess gracefully departed in the Airbus, strangely in the opposite direction. Ah, straight out, now who looks stupid After a few minutes Jess has just passed SUPSA.Meanwhile I was chugging along, singing Dai’s song ‘In the Hangar’ and taking on board plenty of caffeine.I’ll let you into a secret, the fake baton is on board..We maintained radio silence just in case we had any eavesdroppers.As I approached DOPDO Jess has already passed me and was starting her descent.Meanwhile I was chugging along, singing.. Oh you’ve heard that before, sorry.Jess was flying the STAR on the numbers, obviously it wasn’t me flying..I now had the Maldives Archipelago in site, I was planning a manual landing.As I was heading north I could see the A320 ahead and on final for 36, the wind was 010 from 272 so either direction would do.Oh! Could this be the trouble we were expecting? An aircraft on the runway? As it turned out it was a rookie who ignored procedures and had manage to blow the engines, he was stranded.Jess was keen to get down, where she would be less of a target.Down and safe, perhaps we were not being targetted after all?But I am still in the air!Luckily I had floats so could land at the float base, the runway had been shut.Heading downwind I take a look and see Jess safely parked up.I’m going to orbit that island tightly and straight in...On final .. phew!Jess took a snap of my kamikaze approach!Just kissing the water… nice!Unbeknown to me, I was being tracked from under water..Cripes! Sharks with fricking laser beams. Oh bugger. We were sunk, the extinguishers did their job in double quick time (And the sea helped)I came-to a little while later. I was shaken, but not stirred.I made my way back to the door, there was an eerie glow in the cabin. I ended up kicking out a window as the door was jammed.As I swam away I looked back at the sorry site of the Twotter only to see the sea and the shark take its quarry, the false baton. Muhahaha!So the Q400 stuck on the runway was part of the hijack plan after all, just to get me in the water.Reaching the dock I hauled myself out and made my way to the terminal with a grin on my face, the baton was delivered! I met up with Jess to relay the story and a few more Blavods .. Phew.... be careful out there guys! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
J G 927 Posted May 22, 2014 Report Share Posted May 22, 2014 Great PIREP Joe. Very amusing and full of action. Question is, who is masterminding the dastardly (Dick?) plot to scupper our quest? I fear very dark forces are at work! Link to post Share on other sites
mutley 4,487 Posted May 22, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 22, 2014 I think it is the evil Tom Allensworth! Link to post Share on other sites
hurricanemk1c 195 Posted May 22, 2014 Report Share Posted May 22, 2014 Excellent PIREP there Joe - interesting twist! Link to post Share on other sites
ddavid 149 Posted May 22, 2014 Report Share Posted May 22, 2014 Sheesh - where did you dig that one up from? Brilliant, Mate! Thought it was a little dull to start with, but the ending? A real sting - loved the shark getting the dummy baton. Respect, Boss! And Well Done, Jess, for getting the real baton there safely. Cheers - Dai. Link to post Share on other sites
Jess-b 420 Posted May 22, 2014 Report Share Posted May 22, 2014 Congratulations on a brilliant pirep boss. I've never laughed so much in my life. Sharks with frickin' laser beams. Love 'em. However, given our 'guest', I've taken certain, precautions for my leg. Hmmmm...... Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,284 Posted May 23, 2014 Report Share Posted May 23, 2014 Now that's a PIREP with teeth. Bravo boss man, a real page turner from start to finish. Link to post Share on other sites
stu7708 244 Posted May 23, 2014 Report Share Posted May 23, 2014 Boss!!! Really enjoyed the story, and the ending blew my mind.... What did you smoke while making that story up To bad those dark forces are back to try and get their grubby hands on the Baton though... I thought we'd lost them for good... Has anyone seen Sharon lately by the way.. perhaps she's up to her old tricks again!! I'm a tad confused here though... Should I put Jess as the pilot for the leg on the departure board now... she did fly the baton didn't she Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,284 Posted May 23, 2014 Report Share Posted May 23, 2014 Caught nearby on CCTV, not exactly proof but.......just say'in. Link to post Share on other sites
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