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I had to fix that, couldn't leave the bloody thing hanging without a line.

Their terror was palpably felt none dared to describe to the waiting old scribe The fetid odor of smelt. King Mutley was frankly relieved

A tuba so hard her lungs burst.   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   An old pilot who lived near Heathrow,

On the boobs of a barmaid in Sale

are tattooed the prices of Ale

And on her behind

for the sake of the blind

is the same list of prices in Braille

 

 

A man of infinite wit,

 

 

had a job that was shoveling sh... grit

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He threw it too far,

and it hit a cop car,

So now he's in even more sh*t !

---------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The wife of a warrior Celt

Lost the key to her chastity belt.....

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[in Bognor lives our friend Alan Gale,]

Who buys plastic models by the bale.

He paints 'em and glues 'em.

He never eschews 'em.

I've never known him to fail.

New starter...

Jess took great pains to explain...

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[in Bognor lives our friend Alan Gale,]

Who buys plastic models by the bale.

He paints 'em and glues 'em.

He never eschews 'em.

I've never known him to fail.

New starter...

Jess took great pains to explain...

the cause of abdominal pain

the doctor said

"dear, you've drunk too much beer,

and some needs to go down the drain!"

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[There once was a gardener from Leeds,

who swallowed a packet of seeds.........]

No one knows why,

Perhaps to get high,

But he would have done better with weeds.

Starter...

A sprightly young pilot from France

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But when asked to confess

She chose to digress,

and assumed the calm stance of a sphinx!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was an old fella called Mut

Who had lots of hair on his butt........

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and when he bent over 

to smell the white clover

all his family went tut-tut

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was an old man of Dundee

Who molested an ape in a tree.

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But no-one can see

that he lives in a tree

and has got lots of holes in his vest!

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

When a woman in strapless attire

Found her breasts getting higher and higher....

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...

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

When a woman in strapless attire

Found her breasts getting higher and higher....

 

Her Doctor, a Mullah

attached a Gondola

 

"Balloon tours", were on his new flyer.

 

 

==============================================

 

A plucky young pilot on a mission

In search of Rhino gone missing

 

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...

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

When a woman in strapless attire

Found her breasts getting higher and higher....

 

Her Doctor, a Mullah

attached a Gondola

 

"Balloon tours", were on his new flyer.

 

 

==============================================

 

A plucky young pilot on a mission

In search of Rhino gone missing

 

 

But life can be cruel,

He couldn't afford the fuel,

Cos he didn't have a pot to piss in.

 

?????????????????????????

 

Now speaking of our dear Uncle Martin,

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