brett 2,316 Posted September 17, 2013 Report Share Posted September 17, 2013 Customer to aircraft designer: "Your Fired!!!!!" Link to post Share on other sites
Gunner 69 Posted September 17, 2013 Report Share Posted September 17, 2013 Plane is built.Now... think think think...how do we get the pilot in the cockpit? Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,316 Posted September 17, 2013 Report Share Posted September 17, 2013 Commander to new test pilot, "Yes, it's true the first four of them crashed but we're pretty sure we got it right this time." Link to post Share on other sites
allardjd 1,853 Posted September 17, 2013 Report Share Posted September 17, 2013 The V-3 Flugzeug-HugeKludge. Wir die verdamt Engländer und Amerikaner machen kaput mit gross spitzenschparken und udder wunderbar stoff, ja? Link to post Share on other sites
hifly 925 Posted September 18, 2013 Report Share Posted September 18, 2013 'Number 9 Hans here, Fritz have you noticed ze lack of propellerz und enginez in zeez planez? Link to post Share on other sites
J G 927 Posted September 20, 2013 Report Share Posted September 20, 2013 No post for a couple of days now so perhaps I can close this early.... The winner is: John Allard with:- "The V-3 Flugzeug-HugeKludge. Wir die verdamt Engländer und Amerikaner machen kaput mit gross spitzenschparken und udder wunderbar stoff, ja?" Well done John! your turn. I chose this fictitious monster as when I saw it I just felt it needed a daft caption. I saw Mussolini ranting at the aircraft designer shouting "No stupid-o, I said-a I wanted-a Bomb-a to drop-a di bomb-as, not to drop-a di bombers!! Link to post Share on other sites
jaydor 345 Posted September 20, 2013 Report Share Posted September 20, 2013 Oh! and I was going to say "Where's the bloody starter button"? Link to post Share on other sites
dodgy-alan 1,587 Posted September 20, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2013 Not as fictiticious as you may think, this aircraft was a serious proposal by Daimler Benz under their projekt A programme. http://www.luft46.com/db/dbbomba.html http://www.luft46.com/db/dbbombb.html http://www.luft46.com/db/dbbombc.html http://www.luft46.com/db/dbbombe.html http://www.luft46.com/db/dbbombf.html http://www.fantastic-plastic.com/DaimlerBenzProjectBPage.htm Link to post Share on other sites
allardjd 1,853 Posted September 20, 2013 Report Share Posted September 20, 2013 Interesting, but it's not like Daimler Benz has/had any great reputation as an aircraft designer. Engines, certainly, but never an aircraft that I'm aware of. Hard to see this as anything more than a pie-in-the-sky proposal from a dark horse company in the field of aircraft design and probably not ever really seriously considered. The denizens of the Third Reich aviation industry had a habit of over-reaching in design. Much of what they proposed was just nuts (like this one) and some of what they actually built didn't perform very well. Often the reason for that was the unavailability of engines of sufficient horsepower, requiring the fitting of smaller, less suitable powerplants and rendering some promising designs to also-ran status or worse. Ironically, it was often D-B who couldn't provide the required engines. Some of their stuff did work well, of course. One can't ignore that. John. Link to post Share on other sites
dodgy-alan 1,587 Posted September 20, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2013 Thankfully the war ended before many of these things ever came to fruition, though of course some ideas did re emerge in Russia and East Germany where a lot of these were adapted into perfectly servicable aircraft. Germany's engineers were(and still are) among the best in the world and it's thanks to them that many of today's aircraft are the way they are. Link to post Share on other sites
allardjd 1,853 Posted September 21, 2013 Report Share Posted September 21, 2013 Let's see what you guys can do with this for inspiration.... John Link to post Share on other sites
dodgy-alan 1,587 Posted September 21, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 21, 2013 You know it would have been so much easier to call Kwik Fit! Link to post Share on other sites
dodgy-alan 1,587 Posted September 21, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 21, 2013 Never a bloody jack around when you need one! Link to post Share on other sites
Gunner 69 Posted September 21, 2013 Report Share Posted September 21, 2013 Hold it, please. I'm back in five minutes...ok? Link to post Share on other sites
hifly 925 Posted September 21, 2013 Report Share Posted September 21, 2013 'And then we gently lower it onto the trolley... Where's the trolley jack?' Link to post Share on other sites
Ruzzo 59 Posted September 21, 2013 Report Share Posted September 21, 2013 American Servicemen in Iraq get to grips with the new 'Aircraft Lifting' event which will be included in the 2020 Tokyo Olympic Games. Link to post Share on other sites
J G 927 Posted September 21, 2013 Report Share Posted September 21, 2013 Here we see rare footage of two SAS troopers engaging an Iraqi aircraft in unarmed combat during the first Gulf War. Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,316 Posted September 22, 2013 Report Share Posted September 22, 2013 Although new to the aircraft repo business, the boss kept them around for laughs. Link to post Share on other sites
J G 927 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 Here we see Fred and Joe moving an aircraft before they discovered that pressing 'Y' and then the arrow keys was an easier way to do it! Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,316 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 "Push it here over, push it over there, the boss sounds like my wife." Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,316 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 "I hate my job" "Me too" Link to post Share on other sites
mike H 456 Posted September 25, 2013 Report Share Posted September 25, 2013 Ground crew to captain will you make your B------- mind up where you want the nose wheels to go. Link to post Share on other sites
mike H 456 Posted September 25, 2013 Report Share Posted September 25, 2013 Souvenir hunters caught on CCTV BB is watching you. Link to post Share on other sites
UKJim 502 Posted September 25, 2013 Report Share Posted September 25, 2013 Instructions: 1. Push wheel into the standard nose wheel position locking spring in place 2. Press the bug red button for launch CAUTION! Spring activated take-offs may cause whiplash Link to post Share on other sites
allardjd 1,853 Posted September 28, 2013 Report Share Posted September 28, 2013 Great submittals, guys. I'm going to have to go with John Guest who contributed... "Here we see rare footage of two SAS troopers engaging an Iraqi aircraft in unarmed combat during the first Gulf War." Your turn to post one, John. John Link to post Share on other sites
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