bilirubin

Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now departed Prince, she happily sat in her rocking chair watching the world go by with her cat, Alan. One afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared her Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said,'Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?' The Fairy Godmother replied,' Well, Cinderella, since you have lived a good, wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you three wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?' Cinderella was overjoyed. ' I wish to be extremely wealthy,' she said. Instantl

A little girl walked into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, ´Excuthe me, Mithter, do you keep little Wabbits?´ The shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he´s on her level, and asks, ´Do you want a wittle white wabby, or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby, or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?´ The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a quiet voice, ´I don´t fink my pyfon will weally give a thit!!!!´

Officers

Welcome aboard Fintan, You have come to the right place for advice, I joined this time last year and knew nothing about flight simming, here we are 12 months later and...................I still know nothing All joking aside I have learnt a great deal on here so stick around. Mike

Some people seem to get by okay when upgrading, others suffer problems, you will not know what camp you fall in to until you go for it. I did it and it was horrendous, numerous problems plus my Saitek controls did not like it one bit. I have noticed all the new PC's being advertised come with Windows 10 so it must work at some point but from experience and reading other forums the problems seem to come when you upgrade. My upgrade messed things up so bad the roll back did not even work, I had to go for a clean install and start from scratch with everything, not just FSX. Mike

Hi Doug and a belated welcome. Having been to Blackpool I am guessing Plan G was doing you a favour, just keep going and don't look back Mike

Fifty shades of Grey The missus bought a Paperback ...down Shepton, Saturday, I had a look inside her bag; ....T'was "fifty shades of grey". Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed. An hour later she appeared; The sight filled me with dread….. In her left hand she held a rope; And in her right a whip! She threw them down upon the floor, And then began to strip. Well fifty years or so ago; I might have had a peek; But Mabel hasn't weathered well; She's eighty four next week!! Watching Mabel bump and grind; Could not have been much grimmer. And things then went from bad to w

Chaos

Little Larry The Fighter Pilot A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you grow up? Little Larry says: "I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane." The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from littl

Sorry to learn of your loss Alan. My thoughts are with you and your family in this difficult time. Mike

Hi Chris, Being a "newbie" to all this FSX is all I know. Do you have a spare minute to explain the pros and cons of P3D against FSX? Mike

Hi Gavin, I recently took Microsoft up on their offer to upgrade to Windows 10 and as far as flight simming goes it was a nightmare. Steam, FSX, Plan G and all my Saitek controls did not work/respond/operate 100% so I uninstalled everything and re-installed from scratch. After the re-installation of Steam, FSX, Plan G and the Saitek drivers I was still experiencing problems and no matter how hard I tried things were never the same. Eventually I got rid of Windows 10 and installed a clean version of Windows 7 back on my PC. There are people on here and other forums that seem to run

Thanks Arnie, that is a nifty little tool and after my hellish experience with Windows 10 just what I needed. Mike

Having experienced Windows 10 for 48 hours before returning to Windows 7 this means I will not be replacing my CPU for some time. Mike

Thanks for all the feedback so far guys. I will get on this at the weekend and have a look at my "null" zones. Needles: Actually I am not using FSUIPC, I was told in an earlier thread on another subject that it may be a bit complex for a beginner like me? Should I have a re-think re this? Mike

Evening all, Following my brush with Windows 10 and the re-installation of Windows 7 I have had to re-install Steam & FSX plus all my Saitek products. I never had my toe brakes set correctly before my Windows 10 experience so now I am re-installing everything I aim to take my time and set everything up correctly. I have used the FSX settings to set up toe braking to enable me to steer the plane whilst on the ground and this shows in the red box in the left hand corner of the screen as "progressive braking" when I apply pressure to either the right or left toes. However once

That's the last recommendation I suggest for you Mike

Happy New Year to you all.

Thanks for the replies guys, I have re-installed Windows 7 today which means I am starting from scratch but at least it is better than Windows 10. Mike

Good evening all, Just before Christmas I had a moment of weakness and accepted Microsoft's offer to upgrade to Windows 10, boy am I regretting it! I have managed to deal with all the problems that came with the upgrade relating to documents, pictures and music however I am struggling to sort out the problems I am having with FSX Steam and getting all my Saitek products to work. A brief overview: After the upgrade Steam did not work neither did FSX so I deleted all the files and re-installed both. They both appear to be working now however due to none of my Saitek products work

Terrible news Steph, if he does not come through with the goodies on your birthday you should get yourself over to Tinder and find yourself a proper partner. My wife bought me a Saitek control panel for Christmas so she is a keeper...........well for another 12 months at least

Looking good Joe and the team. I have not been on here much due to Christmas but from what I have seen the new site/layout looks good. Thank you for all the hard work you put into MH to enable the rest of us to enjoy it Mike

That is a serious bit of kit Kevin, I would bolt your tower down before you power up. Mike

Merry Christmas to you all and a very Happy New Year. I am hoping there is something under the tree for me from Saitek, if not................I shall miss the wife

An emergency call centre worker has been dismissed from her job, much to the dismay of colleagues who are reportedly unhappy with her treatment. It seems a male caller dialled 999 from a mobile phone stating, “I am depressed and lying here on a railway track. I am waiting for the train to come so I can finally meet my maker.” “Remain calm and stay on the line” was not considered to be an appropriate or correct response.