mutley 4,498 Posted December 11, 2012 Report Share Posted December 11, 2012 Subtitled: Never, ever let me near a FMC So word had got around that the Mutley's roadshow had hit town. President Hu Jintao had declared a public holiday and sent his men to greet us. As we were saying our goodbyes the crowds erupted into uncontrollable sobbing, I thought that they were sad to see us leave, but no, word had got around that Sharon was NOT on board. So just commencing push pack and start up I decided to let the plane fly me to the next destination. Tapping in to the FMC.. Company Route..blah blah.. SID, STAR blah :blah:! We were lucky to get this aircraft. Mr Baggins from the NZ tourist board agreed as the aircraft was due in Taiwan for a re-paint for some film or other. It's quite remote out here on the runway, it's on its own island. Just checking the route before we push the pedal to the metal! Looks easy enough to me, just starting to roll. No problem with the runway, we had hundreds of feet spare. I'm a bit surprised by this turn by the AP, oh well, she knows the way. Flaps coming up, we're still turning? NIce advertising for the airline. Now we have settled into a steady climb it's time for the first coffee of the flight. You're going the wrong way mate! Taiwan is this way, perhaps he's got an emergency and going back, strange, I didn't hear anything on the radio. Just reflecting on what I have just said, I take a look at the FMC. Hmm, that's not right, easy enough to correct. Seems to be getting late now, the moon is rising... Still not quite up to our cruising altitude, but it wont be long. Contrails starting to form and the engines are throttling back by themselves. Here we are at cruising alt. and it feels good looking at the curvature of the Earth. Now that's an odd route being plotted on the MFD? Oh dear, it dawns on me that we should have flown direct to SWA, but we have over 600 miles to go? We're turning back.. Lucky we have plenty of fuel. Having been denied a scotch, I pick the baton off the floor again! Back on a course to Macau to start again. You may recognise these islands from earlier.. Now we're cookin! Heading AWAY from the sun this time. I should have been at Songhan by now but at least an hour to go. Our friend the moon, he was trying to say something to us earlier. We're turning on the TIA VOR, that's Taiwan International below A bit of a bumpy descent through though cloud. Established and gear down Songham lies dead ahead, I fully expect Needles has gone back to his 5 star hotel room in disgust that I am so late. (He can be a such a "prima donna" sometimes!) We're down, chucking the anchor out ... That was a great landing.. For me! Very tired now, thinking of what excuse I can tell Brian. Lined up with my buddies, collecting up my notes and the baton to face the music. Actual distance flown 981nm, flight time 4hrs 21. Expected distance 471nm / 2hrs 06! Damn computers, I thought I had forgotten to program the SID but I managed to put in two, so flew the first 2 hours in search and rescue pattern for the People's Republic of China coastguard (Although I didn’t realise it at the time!) It was only when two J-15 fighter jets flanked me I realised I was starting an international incident and accused of spying! I guess you can see why from this plot they sent me. PIREP over, baton delivered, I hope you enjoyed my (mis) adventures! Cheers, see you in the bar Brian... Link to post Share on other sites
rosariomanzo 545 Posted December 11, 2012 Report Share Posted December 11, 2012 Very entertaining leg. I've been laughing loud for the first shot. And the shots you took are just superb. Never let those crappy computers do your work, captain! O.T. Is that the JF or QW model? Link to post Share on other sites
stu7708 244 Posted December 12, 2012 Report Share Posted December 12, 2012 Thanks for a great way to start the morning Joe. Luckily for me I'm alone in the office this morning so no one could hear me laughing so hard I almost lost my breath all the way from shot 1 to the last... But if we disregard your navigation skills, that was some great shots and a great looking bird, might have to pick it up for those short range flights... Oh, and for future reference, putting the pedal to the metal is not what you should be doing when taking of in an aircraft boss... those pesky things operate the brakes Link to post Share on other sites
SEATAC 400 Posted December 12, 2012 Report Share Posted December 12, 2012 Excellent posting Joe. Stay away from that FMS in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
hurricanemk1c 195 Posted December 12, 2012 Report Share Posted December 12, 2012 That's what happens when you don't review the flight plan in the FMS! Great shots and accidental story there Joe! Link to post Share on other sites
mutley 4,498 Posted December 12, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2012 Glad you enjoyed it guys, it wasn't meant to be funny ..Only kidding!! @Ros, this is the QW version Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,315 Posted December 13, 2012 Report Share Posted December 13, 2012 Funny none the less and a superb collection of pic's. Thanks for the adventure and glad I brought along a copy of War & Peace to read instead of a magazine for the flight. Link to post Share on other sites
ddavid 149 Posted December 13, 2012 Report Share Posted December 13, 2012 Getting the FMC to SKATE and the do the CONGA was asking for trouble! But, you did get there, I guess, so Well Done! Cheers - Dai. Link to post Share on other sites
Clem Wu 1 Posted December 14, 2012 Report Share Posted December 14, 2012 WOW! Awesome shots! Link to post Share on other sites
stu7708 244 Posted December 14, 2012 Report Share Posted December 14, 2012 Getting the FMC to SKATE and the do the CONGA was asking for trouble! Nice one Dai! Link to post Share on other sites
Jess-b 420 Posted December 14, 2012 Report Share Posted December 14, 2012 Aww boss, that reminds me of the first time I had to program an fmc. I cursed it as witchcraft. Great pirep. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
mutley 4,498 Posted December 14, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2012 Thanks Jess, I have got a Bailey's lined up for you Link to post Share on other sites
Kasper 14 Posted December 14, 2012 Report Share Posted December 14, 2012 Great story boss, now I remember why I do all the planning, program the FMC and then fly by hand using conventional navigation. Reminds of this https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=h3kREPMzMLk#! movie: Children of Magenta Great pics! Link to post Share on other sites
mutley 4,498 Posted December 14, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2012 Thanks Kasper, automation dependency was definitely the cause!! Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,315 Posted December 14, 2012 Report Share Posted December 14, 2012 Mister Rogers...is that you? I thought that video was going to be a snooze fest but found myself actually enjoying the presentation. Thanks for the link. To bad pixelninja didn't get to see it earlier, he could have saved 900,000 in deductibles in AH. Link to post Share on other sites
ddavid 149 Posted December 14, 2012 Report Share Posted December 14, 2012 Good catch, Kasper - like Brett, I was caught up with the presentation and enjoyed it thoroughly. Cheers - Dai. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Please sign in to comment
You will be able to leave a comment after signing in
Sign In Now