dodgy-alan 1,587 Posted September 24, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 24, 2016 Wine list? It's either Red or White, depends what the boss got from Tesco's earlier! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dodgy-alan 1,587 Posted September 24, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 24, 2016 D'you wanna go large with that? Extra fries or another onion ring? Link to post Share on other sites
dodgy-alan 1,587 Posted September 24, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 24, 2016 Welcome to Mrs Miggins pie shop. What do you fancy? Nice bit of Vicar? Maybe some Judge?, though that's a bit tough. Coalman if you like a smokey flavour? Link to post Share on other sites
allardjd 1,853 Posted September 24, 2016 Report Share Posted September 24, 2016 I hope you folks will excuse my appearance. You see, living in the back of the kitchen as I do, and with the water heater here broken for weeks, I just can't stand shaving and bathing in cold water. - - - Hey, where are you going? John Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Coffee 2,030 Posted September 24, 2016 Report Share Posted September 24, 2016 (edited) I give every diner mine ear, but few my voice; Take each diner's censure, but reserve my judgment. Costly my habit as thine tips can buy, Thus not expressed in fancy; rich, nor gaudy, For the waiter's apparel oft proclaims the Diner's tips, And they in Five Star Restaurants of the best rank and station Are of a most select and generous chief in that. "Shakespearean actors can be the most condescending waiters don't you think honey? Maybe we should short tip him...?" Edited September 24, 2016 by Captain Coffee Link to post Share on other sites
mike H 456 Posted September 25, 2016 Report Share Posted September 25, 2016 Come on make your minds up, I ain't got all day. Link to post Share on other sites
mike H 456 Posted September 25, 2016 Report Share Posted September 25, 2016 Welcome to Happy Hour. Well please yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mutley 4,498 Posted September 26, 2016 Report Share Posted September 26, 2016 Sorry, the usual waiter is not here, he's off collecting the flies for the soup.. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mutley 4,498 Posted September 26, 2016 Report Share Posted September 26, 2016 .. Sorry, a close shave is not on the menu.. Link to post Share on other sites
mutley 4,498 Posted September 26, 2016 Report Share Posted September 26, 2016 Those are dead flies on my face waiting for someone to complain. Link to post Share on other sites
mutley 4,498 Posted September 26, 2016 Report Share Posted September 26, 2016 Man: "Your very best fillet mignon please." Waiter: "To eat or to post photos of on FaceBook?" 2 Link to post Share on other sites
J G 927 Posted September 26, 2016 Report Share Posted September 26, 2016 (edited) Waiter: The soup is New England Razor Clam Chowder sir. There are plenty of clams in it sir but nobody has found my razor yet Edited September 26, 2016 by J G 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mike H 456 Posted September 28, 2016 Report Share Posted September 28, 2016 We like the décor here ,even your face goes with the curtains Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,316 Posted October 6, 2016 Report Share Posted October 6, 2016 Lot's of funny captions to choose from, I actually had trouble coming up with one myself, kudos. I am going to go with Joe's caption; On 9/26/2016 at 11:08, mutley said: Man: "Your very best fillet mignon please." Waiter: "To eat or to post photos of on FaceBook?" because of a conversion I had the other day about why so any people feel the need to post pics of their food. Thanks for all the chuckles but for this one it's over to you Joe..... Link to post Share on other sites
mutley 4,498 Posted October 6, 2016 Report Share Posted October 6, 2016 Thanks Brett! Here's the next one, have fun! Link to post Share on other sites
Tristarcaptain 282 Posted October 6, 2016 Report Share Posted October 6, 2016 And the news is, either Hillary or Donald will be the next President....!!! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Tristarcaptain 282 Posted October 7, 2016 Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 Uh, oh!! The caterers forgot to load the coffee!! Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Coffee 2,030 Posted October 7, 2016 Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 Flight Engineer: God I hate Karaoke Flight. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mike H 456 Posted October 7, 2016 Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 Just shout we don't what to hear another one of his stupid cockpit jokes 2 Link to post Share on other sites
J G 927 Posted October 7, 2016 Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 Flight Engineer to crew: "SBD" Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,316 Posted October 7, 2016 Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 What do you mean we have been diverted to Syria...... Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Coffee 2,030 Posted October 7, 2016 Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 FE: I am soooo glad I picked tommorow to kick my opium habit. Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Coffee 2,030 Posted October 7, 2016 Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 (edited) Copilot:" I swear to God i'll put us into that mountain!" Head Steward: "For the love of God give it to him!" Captain: /playing pantomime violin "Cry me a F'n river...I told Moocher to bring his own cocaine next flight...and no I won't sit next to the thieving bastard!" Edited October 7, 2016 by Captain Coffee Link to post Share on other sites
hifly 925 Posted October 7, 2016 Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 WHAAAT! This is a Mutley's charter? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mutley 4,498 Posted October 7, 2016 Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 You may like to see the video the still is taken from, it may give you more ideas?! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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