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"Right we'll just get this one bedded in and then I want to put a row of English Electric Lightnings in the bed over there against the wall. They will look lovely when they bloom in the spring"

"I don't care if it IS you Harry, Get up for your Grandmother!"

Thanks Eddie, ok have a go with this one..

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.... Just to let you know you have until Sunday Morning (25th August) to get your witticisms in.  

I am on holiday after that and so want to make my final judgement before then. 

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North Korean guide to foreign tourist:

".......end this is a picture. It was taken. During The Supreme Day. When our All Mighty Deer Leader rises hi. On the back of he's invincible flying. Iron-dragon. End waves at he's humble comrades. This picture is the proof we are knot talking bowl sheet."

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'I should of thought something was up when I was offered a free ride.'

 

EDIT: Sorry Alan, just noticed this was very close to what your entry was. Consider this one withdrawn :th_blush: .

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Judgement day is here..........

Special mention to:

Ryanair announces their new super economy seating!

And

 

Stunt man:

"It's not really dangerous but bird strikes are a bitch"

  

both made me laugh out loud!

The winner is-

French pilot surrenders, even before engagement...

as it made me laugh and appealed to ingrained English prejudice!

Your turn Mutley.

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[David Attenborough]...and quick as a flash the crocodile has the large squirrel insect in its grasp......

the insect, as yet untroubled by the smaller crocodile, merely hovers above the sands...

little does it know that any second the crocodile will begin the death roll......   

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