J G 927 Posted April 1, 2017 Report Share Posted April 1, 2017 (edited) I knew the company was in trouble when I noticed that the MD had traded his Jag for a bike. Another clue was the repossession notice for the Jag on the floor. Edited April 1, 2017 by J G Link to post Share on other sites
Holdit 106 Posted April 1, 2017 Report Share Posted April 1, 2017 ...and on Monday, the CEO noticed something that made him think the board was less than appreciative of his efforts. Link to post Share on other sites
dodgy-alan 1,587 Posted April 1, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2017 When they told the new CEO he'd be getting his own company vehicle, this wasn't quite what he'd envisioned! Link to post Share on other sites
dodgy-alan 1,587 Posted April 1, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2017 Poundland are really harsh on their company car rules! Link to post Share on other sites
allardjd 1,853 Posted April 1, 2017 Report Share Posted April 1, 2017 NOTE ON THE GROUND: Thanks for the use of your wheels - feel free to use mine, which I've left behind for you. Link to post Share on other sites
dodgy-alan 1,587 Posted April 3, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2017 When the board decided to fire you and told you to "Get on yer bike", they weren't joking! Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,295 Posted April 4, 2017 Report Share Posted April 4, 2017 Did anyone else notice that the managing director looks awful sweaty lately Link to post Share on other sites
mike H 456 Posted April 4, 2017 Report Share Posted April 4, 2017 (edited) It may be reserved for our MD, but he won't be going anywhere FAST 1. Flat front tyre- No pump. 2. Lost key to Bike lock 3. He can't even open the door, due to some bright spark who left his bike park against the door. I wonder who it was . Edited April 5, 2017 by mike H Link to post Share on other sites
Tristarcaptain 282 Posted April 8, 2017 Report Share Posted April 8, 2017 OK...this one has gone quiet now, so I have picked a winner (Drum roll...................................................) And the winner is Brett with his line 'How not to instill confidence at financial institutions' Congratulations Brett.....over to you....... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,295 Posted April 8, 2017 Report Share Posted April 8, 2017 Thanks Martin (not again) I'll look for something and get it up...... Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,295 Posted April 12, 2017 Report Share Posted April 12, 2017 Sorry I took so long, shame on me. Ok, here the next one. Have fun with it everyone........ Link to post Share on other sites
Holdit 106 Posted April 12, 2017 Report Share Posted April 12, 2017 "Speeding? Me? You're having a laugh mate..." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Holdit 106 Posted April 12, 2017 Report Share Posted April 12, 2017 (edited) Police finally track down the notorious drugs kingpin Pablo Escobear. (Sorry) Edited April 12, 2017 by Holdit 1 Link to post Share on other sites
allardjd 1,853 Posted April 12, 2017 Report Share Posted April 12, 2017 Sloth-Treats my arse - them was magnets. John 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Coffee 2,030 Posted April 12, 2017 Report Share Posted April 12, 2017 Well perhaps we just need to agree to disagree upon what a public restroom looks like...sir. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dodgy-alan 1,587 Posted April 13, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 13, 2017 After seeing Ice Age, Sid fancied life in the sloth lane! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dodgy-alan 1,587 Posted April 13, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 13, 2017 Why should I move? My tree was here until you humans put a motorway through the rainforest! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dodgy-alan 1,587 Posted April 13, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 13, 2017 Hey little guy, that's a $50 fine for jaywalking! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gunner 69 Posted April 13, 2017 Report Share Posted April 13, 2017 Hey...psst...you have a light? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Coffee 2,030 Posted April 13, 2017 Report Share Posted April 13, 2017 The cars are whizzing by soooo FAST, I got dizzy...can't you make them slow down? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mutley 4,488 Posted April 13, 2017 Report Share Posted April 13, 2017 No Officer, I wasn't pole dancing 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Holdit 106 Posted April 13, 2017 Report Share Posted April 13, 2017 (edited) "Officer, I'm glad you're here. Someone stole the leaves from my tree..." Edited April 14, 2017 by Holdit 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dodgy-alan 1,587 Posted April 14, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 14, 2017 Wow! That was some stag night! Where the hell am I? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Coffee 2,030 Posted April 14, 2017 Report Share Posted April 14, 2017 It's tough to get a cab by's a tten tion when you are short and move at a se date speed ... ... ... would you be a good chap and hail one for me? I don't think I can walk home to night sir, and dri ving is right out ... hic. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dodgy-alan 1,587 Posted April 14, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 14, 2017 Why did the sloth cross the road?.......... Link to post Share on other sites
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