Tristarcaptain

A man walks into a bar. He is not looking where he is going and slips on a dog turd that was on the floor. Humiliated, he goes and quietly sits down at the bar, and buys a drink. A few minutes later, another guy walks into the bar and slips on the same dog turd, landing vary hard on his backside. The first customer turned to the other guy and proclaimed... 'You know, I just did that'!! The second man turned to him and punched him in the face.....!!

A horse walked into a bar and sat down to order a beer. The barman asked the horse... 'Why the long face...?'

A skeleton want to a ball, but as the evening progressed, he grew very sad. You see, he had no body to dance with!

The good news continues for RAF Cold War fans as Aerosoft has released a two seat version of the much loved EE Lightning. http://www.aerosoft.com/us/fsxp3d/flight-simulator-x-steam/aircraft/2026/english-electric-lightning-t5?c=355. Question......Did I buy it...? Answer......Is the Pope Catholic!!! Keep those RAF jet releases coming!!!! Martin

Great that things are back to normal...I missed the company whilst the site was down. Thanks for your hard work Joe! I am not a G&T man, but I will have a coffee or two with you!! I provide the coffee...you the chocolate..... Regards Martin

Just found out myself on another website. Very sad that it crashed, but hopefully it will fly again as the damage does not look too bad. Great flying skills shown by the pilot. By the way, where is 'Doxford' (as spelt in the newspaper report) ?? Martin (A big fan of Foxy Lady)

Looks like Just Flight continue with their RAF theme. They are working on the Javelin FAW8/9!! Looks nice!!! https://www.justflight.com/product/javelin-faw-8-9

Another dark art to master......ILS! I am going to have a busy year!!!

Ha! I have yet to get to grips with GPS and navigation! I find that there is so much to learn on FSX. At least you get a lot for what you pay for (at least when it was readily available!!!)

Ok...Flight Sim can be a steep learning curve. It can also be frustrating at times, especially for slow learners like me!!! However, it is so nice when you finally get something figured and get that 'sweet' moment, I will give a couple of mine and perhaps you would like to share yours....?? 1. My first carrier landing (and also my first carrier landing in the MilViz F-4J Phantom II). 2. Finally being able to do something with TacPac and dropping my first bombs!!! (Ok...shameful confession. I have had TacPac for many months and not done much with it. Today...I

Nah....that's the Project Aura plane......

Ok, thanks for the info. I am looking forward to the JF VC-10 too! I really like the BOAC markings on that and the Boeing 707! I have fond memories of The Queens Building at Heathrow seeing the BOAC and BEA aircraft. Yep...showing by age now. Martin

Wow! Very nice Alan. So who makes that VC-10? In my view, the VC-10 is one of the most elegant airliners EVER!!! Martin

The pilot was really upset that his wife, Shirley, only got him a Big Mac for last night's supper, yet she could make all this effort for her passengers! His devious plan was to really show her who was boss....a really steep climb on take off followed by a steep banking turn to port....

Maybe this is what flight sim will look like in a few years...? http://www.nbcnews.com/mach/innovation/these-new-designs-are-changing-look-airliners-surprising-ways-n745806

Just been browsing on FS Pilotshop and noticed that Aeroplane Heaven have done a Helldiver.....looks interesting.....can I resist....??? http://www.fspilotshop.com/aeroplane-heaven-sb2c-helldiver-for-fsx-p3d-p-6680.html

It's hard to believe that the UK was once a major producer of GREAT aircraft. Over the last years, they have made lots of very expensive mistakes and cancellations. Alan has already mentioned the Harrier, which was retired far too early, then there is the cancellation of the TSR 2 (just don't get me started on that one!! ), the Nimrod MR4A and the failure to develop the English Electric Lightning to it's full potential 'because in the future, it would be not manned interceptors, but missiles'......how wrong they were! Martin

I would to wish all members a very happy Easter. Best wishes Martin P.S. Don't over indulge on those chocolate eggs!!

OK..this is NO joke. As you know, I moved to the USA. When my wife and I flew back to the UK to vacate my flat, we flew into Manchester. The lines were not clearly marked, so my wife lined up with me to go through customs. To cut a long story short, he told her she was in the wrong line and I explained that she was my wife and the sign was not clear. He responded 'So!' When I explained this was how things were done in the USA where we had come from, he went berserk and sent me to the back of the line and her to another line. When I got though, he would not let me wait for my

That is hilarious!!!! Now we need one to remove ISIS from the Middle East...guess that will be a bigger set!!

OK...this one has gone quiet now, so I have picked a winner (Drum roll...................................................) And the winner is Brett with his line 'How not to instill confidence at financial institutions' Congratulations Brett.....over to you.......

Just looking through the forum, I see that Red Barron has a new job!! Congratulations!!! Some people mentioned about the perfect job, so let's open things up and let me ask..... 'What would be your perfect job....'? Me...? Well, I like photography and taking photos of planes, so a job such as Jamie Hunter's taking photos of plane's in action, while in the back of another plane would be high on my list!! Guess my health would prevent that, but one can dream....!! Maybe travelling the world to take photos of planes from the ground would be more

Maybe I am using the wrong wash cycle and shrinking in the wash???!!!!

Yeah...that IS a great movie. We have it!! Also, the soundtrack (CD) is very good too! If I had grown up in the USA, I think that I would have done basket ball at school. After all, I had the height. I was 6ft 3ins when I was at school....I am now 6ft 2ins........ (Maybe I had too many crashes in flight sim.....) Martin

Ha, ha, John!! ' Favorite adopted Hoosier'...I love it!!