Captain Coffee 2,030 Posted July 16, 2015 Report Share Posted July 16, 2015 Q: How many Chinese aircrew does it take to open a ladder? A. X + 1 Pilot. Link to post Share on other sites
mutley 4,498 Posted July 16, 2015 Report Share Posted July 16, 2015 Unfortunately the tube of superglue had burst on his way out. Link to post Share on other sites
J G 927 Posted July 16, 2015 Report Share Posted July 16, 2015 American Ex-Fireman Bob just couldn't give up his old habit of riding on the side of the truck. Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,315 Posted July 16, 2015 Report Share Posted July 16, 2015 Pilot: If I leave this frikin country today, it will be one day to late Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,315 Posted July 16, 2015 Report Share Posted July 16, 2015 Head Mechanic: Hello, hello, E-Z-Ladder company, this is an emergency call from the military...... E-Z-Ladder Tech: Please hold...... Link to post Share on other sites
mike H 456 Posted July 17, 2015 Report Share Posted July 17, 2015 Anyone here any good at flat pack ladders. Link to post Share on other sites
mike H 456 Posted July 17, 2015 Report Share Posted July 17, 2015 Pilot:- hey guys hurry up with that ladder Why don't you just jump Pilot;- I can't as I am afraid of heights Link to post Share on other sites
allardjd 1,853 Posted July 17, 2015 Report Share Posted July 17, 2015 Yes, that's right. He tried to exit without the ladder and he's... erm... ahem, impaled himself on the pitot. Fortunately the pitot heat is off. We're worried about brain damage, however since the pitot is over 4" long. Link to post Share on other sites
dodgy-alan 1,587 Posted July 17, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 17, 2015 Thats the trouble with buying goods off Ebay! Half the time the instructions are in Japanese! Link to post Share on other sites
dodgy-alan 1,587 Posted July 17, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 17, 2015 I bet Chris Bonnington never has this problem! Link to post Share on other sites
J G 927 Posted July 17, 2015 Report Share Posted July 17, 2015 Spiderman surprised the ground crew with his unusual method of getting int the cockpit. Link to post Share on other sites
mike H 456 Posted July 18, 2015 Report Share Posted July 18, 2015 In case of any pilot emergency we have it covered. By carrying a spare pilot on the side Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Coffee 2,030 Posted July 18, 2015 Report Share Posted July 18, 2015 Well, Yes, of Course we read the manual, we are not idiots. So we have tried: -Tab A to fully the Slot B. -Vertical Folding evenly till the Click safety. -Not ground tipping for constructing stable. So now what? Ok, umm hummm. Got it...one second please. Guys, try "gripping the edge handle torque right left" Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,315 Posted July 18, 2015 Report Share Posted July 18, 2015 Pilot: I have a feeling we will be here training these numpties longer than the brass thought Link to post Share on other sites
cporses 50 Posted July 21, 2015 Report Share Posted July 21, 2015 'I thought when I volunteered to be a "Phantom" pilot, I would at least be sitting in the cockpit'. Link to post Share on other sites
allardjd 1,853 Posted July 21, 2015 Report Share Posted July 21, 2015 Not a caption entry... I guess you guys know that's not really an F4. Look at the non-droopy horizontal stabilizers, the nose gear offset from the centerline, single tire on the nose strut and the fuselage bulge aft of the wing. The orientation of the main wheels to the strut doesn't look right either - offset inboard too much. I'm not sure what it is, but a Phantom it ain't... John Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Coffee 2,030 Posted July 21, 2015 Report Share Posted July 21, 2015 Not a caption entry... I guess you guys know that's not really an F4. Look at the non-droopy horizontal stabilizers, the nose gear offset from the centerline, single tire on the nose strut and the fuselage bulge aft of the wing. The orientation of the main wheels to the strut doesn't look right either - offset inboard too much. I'm not sure what it is, but a Phantom it ain't... John Found it, i think: Shenyang J-8 II Finback...or one of Many variations. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shenyang_J-8 1 Link to post Share on other sites
allardjd 1,853 Posted July 21, 2015 Report Share Posted July 21, 2015 If this was an F4, there would be a folding step right about... OUCH! Damn! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
J G 927 Posted July 22, 2015 Report Share Posted July 22, 2015 "I will have the Phantom please, medium rare with a side order of Pilot, Thank you" Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Coffee 2,030 Posted July 22, 2015 Report Share Posted July 22, 2015 Pilot: Look, until you guys figure out whether this is a Phantom, or a Finback...i'm Outa Here. How can I fly a plane if I don't know which procedures to follow? Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,315 Posted July 22, 2015 Report Share Posted July 22, 2015 Son of a gun, I really need to learn their language Link to post Share on other sites
Andrew Godden 943 Posted July 28, 2015 Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 Guys, Apologies, I seemed to have let this go a little longer than intended. To those of you who recognised the aircraft was not a McDonnell Douglas F-4 'Phantom II', well done, you win a Kewpie doll. It is indeed, a Shenyang J-8, and congratulations to Matt for correctly indentifying it, you win the pink, stuffed elephant. You can claim your prizes by contacting the guy on the phone in the picture. Now, some fantastic captions and a number along the lines I would have sumitted, but remember I have a very black satirical sense of humour. In the end, it was close, but for sheer simplicity and exactly what I would have been thinking if I was that pilot, it goes to Brett with, "Pilot: If I leave this frikin country today, it will be one day to late.". Thanks everyone and over to you Brett. Cheers Andrew Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,315 Posted July 28, 2015 Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 Thanks Andrew, let's try this one next (wish I was writing the captions for this one:D). Link to post Share on other sites
dodgy-alan 1,587 Posted July 28, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 Now Mr Obama, about this new racial integration policy!! Link to post Share on other sites
dodgy-alan 1,587 Posted July 28, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 Ah Lord Sewell, please tell us again why you were forced to resign and why you think you'd be welcome at the Whitehouse?.....I don't care if Bill Clinton DID do something similar! Link to post Share on other sites
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