brett 2,315 Posted November 4, 2015 Report Share Posted November 4, 2015 Mister Obvious: We hit a bridge Captain Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,315 Posted November 4, 2015 Report Share Posted November 4, 2015 That's the last time I hire that company to retro fit us into an icebreaker 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mutley 4,498 Posted November 4, 2015 Report Share Posted November 4, 2015 Approaching Jeddah harbour, Eli Goldstein, captain of the 'Oy Vey' dons the burqa so as not to look conspicuous. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mutley 4,498 Posted November 4, 2015 Report Share Posted November 4, 2015 Who are you calling Scarface? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,315 Posted November 4, 2015 Report Share Posted November 4, 2015 You win, the tide was high 1 Link to post Share on other sites
J G 927 Posted November 5, 2015 Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 Well the bridge does open now! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mike H 456 Posted November 7, 2015 Report Share Posted November 7, 2015 The bad news captain is their goes the no claim discount, The good news is l was not at the wheel. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dodgy-alan 1,587 Posted November 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 9, 2015 Damn! I'm normally really good at bridge! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Coffee 2,030 Posted November 9, 2015 Report Share Posted November 9, 2015 Ship-1, Bridge-0...Contest did not end in a Draw. (^^^Not eligible to win) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Coffee 2,030 Posted November 9, 2015 Report Share Posted November 9, 2015 Mister Obvious: We hit a bridge Captain Captain Oblivious: Huh, what bridge? (^^^captioning a caption...also Not eligible to win ) Good stuff folks...keep em coming...I know this one has more jokes available in it...I'm biting my tongue on two more right now. Link to post Share on other sites
mutley 4,498 Posted November 9, 2015 Report Share Posted November 9, 2015 I know we had been in port for a long time, but not that long Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,315 Posted November 9, 2015 Report Share Posted November 9, 2015 Classic example of a hit and drag Link to post Share on other sites
mike H 456 Posted November 10, 2015 Report Share Posted November 10, 2015 No one will believe me when I tell them what I caught in my net today. Link to post Share on other sites
dodgy-alan 1,587 Posted December 5, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 5, 2015 Nudge Nudge!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Coffee 2,030 Posted December 5, 2015 Report Share Posted December 5, 2015 Damn! I'm normally really good at bridge! If Brevity is the soul of wit...My delay getting this thing judged makes me Witless...sorry folks, completely forgot about it in my November distractions. But Alan's entry qualifies as genuine wit...Haul the scraps of this bridge fiasco away Alan. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dodgy-alan 1,587 Posted December 5, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 5, 2015 Thanks Matt, Ok guys, have a go with this one.... Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,315 Posted December 6, 2015 Report Share Posted December 6, 2015 The budget cuts are getting ridiculous 1 Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,315 Posted December 6, 2015 Report Share Posted December 6, 2015 Oh crap, it's the fashion police 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Coffee 2,030 Posted December 6, 2015 Report Share Posted December 6, 2015 "WhoooHoooo!!!" made the sirens unnecessary...and the new green squad carts saved even more energy...Whoooo Hooooo!. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
brett 2,315 Posted December 6, 2015 Report Share Posted December 6, 2015 Sir, I am calling car #9 and he is not answering Yeah, that's Toby my wife's brother and he's one handcuff shy of a pair. Try calling him using car #6 (Think about it ) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mike H 456 Posted December 7, 2015 Report Share Posted December 7, 2015 PC 9 Was it you who rang ? 999 Lady Yes it was me PC 9 The other two PC's 9 & 9 will be along abit later. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
allardjd 1,853 Posted December 7, 2015 Report Share Posted December 7, 2015 When seconds count, the police are only minutes away. Unless it's uphill. John 1 Link to post Share on other sites
allardjd 1,853 Posted December 7, 2015 Report Share Posted December 7, 2015 Why the flashing blue lights are visible from ahead is unknown - it's not as if he'll be overtaking anyone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
allardjd 1,853 Posted December 7, 2015 Report Share Posted December 7, 2015 Model 9P - the Pastry-Powered, Pedal Propelled, Preposterously Pitiful Police Patrol Pram (For non-Americans, police here are stereotyped as being avid consumers of doughnuts, thus the Pastry-Powered bit.) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Coffee 2,030 Posted December 7, 2015 Report Share Posted December 7, 2015 Anticipating a rapidly aging population, police forces are equipping and training to chase down geriatric criminals unable to afford health care, and forced into lives of wheelchair bound crime...not as easy as you might imagine...some of those old codgers are pretty spry on a diet of mostly pigeon, fat of which makes a surprisingly good axle and bearing grease. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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